Lately I have been seening a lot of articles talking about mental illness. Like I just saw Wil Wheaton talk about his depression and it made me cry because thats how I feel. If you haven't seen it then I suggest you should. I think this movement is great, to shed a ligh onto people like me who are not crazy but rather have a chemical imbalance. As of lately I have been going through the process of being tested for a learning disability in math which I do have but they also go through a full psych test. I have been struggling with chronic depression, anixety and panic disorder since I was about 11. Yeah 11. That is pretty young and it only means that I have been dealing with it for a lot longer. I tried anti-depressants but it affected the way I read and how I write which made me depressed in a different way. So for me there is no win. In fact I've been severly deperessed for about 3 weeks which happens every year at this time because I can't handle the heat so I rarely go outside and well here we are. Why am I posting this? Well I strongly believe in being open about this kind of stuff. I tell people right away in a new friendship or relationship so they know, and I can judge how they react because if they react poorly I know we can't be friends. If I can't be honest with you about how I feel on some level then it isn't going to work. I am a strong independent 26 year old who has to deal with a chemical imbalance which is not my fault and I am not going to act like it is. People should know that anyone can be affected or suffering. Ricky Gervis had this quote that said "Telling someone with depression to get over it is like telling someone with cancer to get over it". Those are probably some of the truest words. It is hard to get onto here to post. It might not seem like it but some days even getting out of bed is to hard to do. I also found out from my testing that I could never have a job like in retail or anything to do with people because it stresses me out to much which makes me depressed. Luckily I am going to school to become a teacher. The most popular question I have been getting is "Well isn't that stressful". Acutally NO it is not. I scored advancded in my academics so actually teaching is perfect for me. Writing is also something else I tested advanced in as well. I might have these things that work against me but the things I excell in I EXCELL IN. Does that mean that I can not live a normal life? What is normal would be my question to you. Sure I have a little extra work to find a job I like but at the end of the day I have to work a job I like or I as a person could not function. Is that really a bad thing? I don't think so. I kind of think I scored a little bit. Its kind of like was handed a basket with some tooties rolls in it but then I have see's candy in it too. Some shitty candy with some awesome candy. I am going to make more post like this so I can share my struggles and hopefully in some way relate to someone else out there who doesn't feel alone.